1) Improve the way that you look
It’s really that simple – if you want better responses, from more women, you might just need to look better. If you think that’s shallow, that’s fine, but that’s the reality of dating. Now, looks are obviously not everything, but combined with the below points, looking your best will have you in prime position for more lovin’. It might be time to update your clothes, making sure that they fit well (guys notoriously wear things too big). Get your hair professionally styled. Use a moisturiser for a younger visage. Be sure that your teeth are looking as best as possible (teeth are very important). If you’re not quite as toning as you could be, commit to the gym. Improving your dating success means improving yourself as a whole.
2) Attitude is everything
I can tell within minutes those of my clients who will do exceptionally well and go onto huge dating success, and those who might struggle more, and this is based almost entirely on their attitude. Your attitude is the barometer by which you can measure your success in dating, and life. A good healthy, optimistic outlook, and taking responsibility for your own life, is critical (and attractive). Improvement in dating is a process, and without the right attitude, you will likely not have the gusto to commit to it.
3) Look around you
Most of society walks around in their thoughts with their heads down. If you want to meet more women the first thing that you must realize is that women are EVERYWHERE. You don’t have to go to bars to meet women, they are on the street, in the supermarkets, in libraries, the park – everywhere. And those that are single, as looking to meet someone just as much as you are.
4) Put aside time to get out there and meet women
If you’re to improve your dating success, you must meet more women. And to meet more women, you must put aside time to meet them. We live in a world where dating is not taught. We’re left to figure it out for ourselves, and most common advice out there is that “it will just happen” Ok it might, but it might not. That’s kind of like wanting a ripped body, and thinking that it will just happen through your daily activities. If you’re not going out with the conscious intention to meet and interact with women, be it to a bar, an event, or during the day, you’re at the mercy of fate that may or may not exist, and depriving yourself of a huge confidence building exercise.
Dating is a numbers game. Even with a skill, it is still a numbers game. The chances of you meeting one girl, by accident, and her being your dream match, is, albeit romantic, is not very realistic. So just try to approach more. Try to increase the numbers of women that you’re meeting. Say hello in the supermarket, ask how her night is going in the bars, ask if they’re enjoying the event, etc.
6) Show interest
Showing interest in a woman does not take away your power. Yes, women are getting hit on all the time, but they’re getting hit on badly all the time. The James Bond Syndrome is what I call a pattern that has emerged of (Australian) men trying to maintain a cool façade by never show any interest in women, or vulnerability, and never taking any risks. So of course, most often, not much happens. There is nothing more congruent than showing your interest to a woman that you’re interested in, and there is nothing more important in dating than congruence (i.e. being yourself). Show her that you’re interested. Have the balls to approach her, compliment her, and ASK HER OUT. Stop being afraid of a potential “no”
The second most common issue that I see in the dating world, after not approaching, is that some men ARE actually meeting women, but they don’t follow it up and ask for her phone number. If you’re talking to a girl that interests you, don’t just leave – ask for her number. Even just add her on Facebook, do SOMETHING. In other words, close the deal. Getting out there and meeting women is great, but if you’re never seeing any of them again, well, what’s the point?
8) Create a good lifestyle
Dating and lifestyle are incredibly intertwined. Who you are and how you’re feeling is always shining through, regardless of your actions or words. And if you’re unhappy with yourself and your life, this will resonate louder than anything that you do or say. Your vibe is one of the most determining factors in your interactions, and a great vibe comes from a great lifestyle. Get working on what you want in life, and your dating success will improve automatically.
9) Be persistent
You want to be a better dater – great, but it will not happen over night. Again, dating is a PROCESS. See dating like the gym, you can’t walk in and bench-press 200 kilograms, but you can aspire to that and start with 20 kilograms, knowing that each week that will increase. Your ability to approach, converse, flirt, close – it will ALL improve with time and persistence. Don’t approach one girl and give up, the journey and process is what will transform you.
10) Learn all that you can
Learn all that you can about dating. Don’t just wait for change, create it. Get Googling. Anything that you want to know about dating – someone has written about it. If you know someone who is good with women, ask them for tips. Hire a professional coach like myself who will show you the ropes. Go and read a book or two. Try to not be so fixated on finding “the one” and instead discover what the dating process can teach you about yourself and women. These lessons are worth their weight in gold and it’s them that will turn you into the best, most attractive, most confident man that you can be.
Chris Manak runs Manic Workshops – a Melbourne dating coaching service teaching men how to meet more women, and gain control of their dating lives.